A list of things that have pissed me off in the past 48 hours:
Why is it that the same two children that can’t seem to get their own asses out of bed in time for school are the SAME two children who wake up at 6am every morning of summer vacation?
Usually when one is evicted from an apartment, one is no longer welcome as a tenant anywhere else in the building. If you’ve sat in my building for 2 months without paying rent, I sure as FUCK am not going to allow you to live with your buddies down the hall.
When I’ve thrown you out of the building and filed a No Trespass order with the town cops, that does NOT mean that it’s okay for you to stand on the other side of my property line all day long. Go back to the tent that you’ve pitched down by the river and STAY THERE, you lazy assed piece of shit.
It’s NOT an emergency unless it includes blood, death, fire or copious amounts of water or property damage.
I don’t owe you respect in ANY form or fashion. Earn it, asshole.
If you are a waitress earning $2.75 an hour, don’t be surprised when I tell you that you can’t afford to rent an apartment from me. Above all, don’t bullshit me into believing that you’re affording the apartment that you’re renting now that costs 1.5 times as much as what you make.
Stay OUT of my parking space damn it.
Is it REALLY so difficult for some people to comprehend that customer service includes CUSTOMER service? When I ask you for help in finding bread crumbs, don’t just point and say “Over that way somewhere”.
Do NOT roll your eyes at ME or I’ll smack you so hard your eyes will roll for a week.
4 hours to rip up a 9X12 carpet? Do I LOOK like a fuckin moron who would believe that?
No, I don’t want top of the line fixtures in a rental building. I want something that is easily replaced and CHEAP.
No, as a matter of fact, my job description does not include keeping my tenants ‘happy’. My job description does, however, include keeping my boss happy. My boss is happiest when there is RENT being paid, tenants following rules and no damage being done to the investments.
When you’re one of the largest home improvement stores in the universe, it’s usually good business practice to hire people who know what the fuck they’re talking about.
If you’re a delivery man and you try to refuse to lug a 200 lbs. air conditioner up to the 3rd floor, do NOT be surprised when I tell you that you WILL if that’s where I need it to go. Lucky for you, I didn’t but I was tempted to make you do it just because you’re an asswipe.
Is EVERY plumber in a 100 mile radius busy?
What the fuck is the deal with starting school in August? Why would you make kids go to school for 4 days and then immediately give them a 4 day weekend? You get PAID to come up with this silly shit?
Either sign the freakin lease or DON’T sign it. It doesn’t much matter to me because there are about 40 other people behind you.
There. I feel better.
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