Theater of the Soul

Like most space junkies, I expect the last week of January to be one of reflection and remembrance. This year, I’m having trouble reconciling the fact that it’s been TWENTY years since the Challenger accident.

I was 15 years old on January 28, 1986. My mother had recently been diagnosed with cancer and was feeling really fragile that morning, so I stayed home from school to take care of her. I was actually quite disappointed to be missing school that day. Christa McAuliffe was to be the first teacher in space and, since I lived in her home state of New Hampshire, every school in the state had special activities planned to watch the launch on the feed that NASA had provided to schools all over the country.

I was doomed to stay at home and miss the launch. I remember switching our big ole satellite dish from one position to the next trying to find a station…ANY station…carrying the launch live. I finally gave up at around 11:30 and put on the Price Is Right.

The breaking news alert chimed in about 10 minutes later and I was so excited, thinking that they had decided to carry the launch live…or at least give a replay. I don’t think I actually heard the tone that the anchorperson was using and didn’t realize anything was wrong until the shuttle exploded.

That was a defining moment for me for several reasons. First, it shook my faith in an organization that I truly admired but didn’t fully understand. To a kid with an above average interest in spaceflight, NASA engineers were nothing short of magicians and astronauts were nothing less than Gods. I, and a lot of other Americans had put NASA on a pedestal and there was no where for them to go but down. Second, I found myself part of a generation dealing with their very first national tragedy. Those of us born in the 70’s were too young to appreciate the end of Vietnam, Watergate and the assassination attempt on President Reagan. That ball of fire at 46,000 feet burned itself into the brains of my entire generation as our first “Where were you when…?” moment.

Many more of those moments have occurred for us since then but, like a first love, you never forget your first.