Archive for June 24th, 2006

Just for You

Published June 24, 2006 in Miscellaneous. 0 Comments

Lest I destroy Livey’s belief that she truly IS the center of the universe and that no one…and I mean NO ONE has suffered as much as she has, I have gone in and fished out a comment that the spam filter ate. Here ya go, sweetie. I even gave it a post unto itself.

Unfortunately I gave you far more credit than you deserve in the intelligence department. Sorry for that. I’m done, you wanna keep showing your ass, go right ahead. I want no part of it.

Let it never be said that I have no sympathy for the mentally ill.

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nar·cis·sism

Published June 24, 2006 in Miscellaneous. 0 Comments
    1. Excessive love or admiration of oneself. See Synonyms at conceit.
    2. A psychological condition characterized by self-preoccupation, lack of empathy, and unconscious deficits in self-esteem.
    3. Erotic pleasure derived from contemplation or admiration of one’s own body or self, especially as a fixation on or a regression to an infantile stage of development.
    4. The attribute of the human psyche charactized by admiration of oneself but within normal limits.

Disclaimer: If you think this post is about you, you’re probably RIGHT. Besides, nothing I can say would convince you otherwise.

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Dogs

Published June 24, 2006 in Personal and Pet Tales. 0 Comments

Me and Darby

Meet Darby (and that’s me, for those who have never seen a picture). That dog right there was the Best. Dog. Ever.

I’ve been owned by many dogs throughout my life and each was special in his/her own way. But I connected with Darby from the very moment we laid eyes on each other. She was owned by a breeder that I had contacted while looking for a rescue organization to adopt from. The breeder, a very wonderful woman, told me that she had a dog that had just incurred a chipped elbow and shouldn’t be used for breeding again. I drove down that weekend to the woman’s house and was in Saint Bernard heaven. There were quite a few rescue dogs there, plus her own breeding dogs AND two huge litters of puppies. If the boys hadn’t still been in diapers at that point, I probably would have come home with Darby AND one of her puppies, but I knew that I couldn’t take on housetraining and toilet training at the same time without losing my mind. We signed the paperwork, stuffed Darby in the back of my little Tracker and I was on my way. I talked to her all the way home and by the time we arrived, the bond was formed. The picture above was taken on her first night with us and that’s pretty much where she always stayed…by my side or at my feet.

At 192 lbs., I had cause to be concerned over how Darby behave around Monkeyboy, who was barely a year old at the time. Even an unintentional swipe of her tail could have seriously hurt MB…or me for that matter. I weigh 110 lbs soaking wet and the second concern I had was being able to control a dog that big. My other saints were all typical weights for the breed: 130 to 150 lbs. My concerns were completely unfounded though. This dog could tiptoe through the maze of children and toys like a ballerina and keeping her under control never required more than the sound of my voice. She even picked up my non-verbal cues and would lay down every time I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

We had a window next to our back door and whenever someone knocked, she’d get up, walk over to the window and move the curtain aside with her nose. No barking, no anything. Just a GREAT BIG HEAD in the window. I can’t tell you how many postmen, delivery men and Jehovah’s Witnesses she scared doing that. If I allowed a stranger to enter the house or stopped to talk to one on the street, she’d quietly move herself between me and the stranger and JUST WATCH. She’d never take her eyes off the person, but she’d make no threatening moves. She didn’t need to. Her sheer size intimidated the shit out of most people, but if she knew you and LOVED you, there would be no doubt in your mind that she worshipped the ground you walked on.

She was the boys’ pillow, security blanket and alarm clock all rolled into one. When they were each old enough to start school, she’d pine for them while they were gone. If they were outside playing in the yard, she was right there keeping watch. The boys stopped letting me play hide and seek with them because all I had to do was ask, “Where are your babies?” and she’d lead me right to them.

Darby died a few years ago and we still mourn her. I’ve always believed that the best way to honor a beloved pet’s memory was to give a good home to another pet who needs someone to love them. This is the longest I’ve ever been without a saint and it’s due in large part to the fact that I don’t know if I can find another dog SO perfect for us. I’ve been scared that any other dog will be a disappointment. The funny thing is is that all of the saints that I’ve had have all come to me through very serendipitous events…like some force in the universe leads them to me (or vice versa).

Yesterday, I decided to open myself back up to the possibility of getting another dog. Now, I just sit back and let the universe handle the details.

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Left Field

Published June 24, 2006 in Miscellaneous. 0 Comments

I love it when I get shit thrown at me from out of nowhere.

I recieved an email from a friend asking for help because his blog was down. I provided help, along with several other people. I happened to be the one who found the solution. I made a short post stating that the issue was resolved and a short comment stating what the solution was. End of story…or it SHOULD have been. Instead I get an email this morning pointing me to this:

Or, maybe it would prefered that I engage in a stand-up pissin’ contest over who fixed who’s blog first.
I’m NOBODY’S “minion”, and I’d have to be a pompous biotch indeed to crown my self “queen” of any domain.
FUCK THAT.
I’m not a “girly” kinda girl. I will not engage in a bloggy “cat fight”. I’d rather meet you in a parking lot and kick your ass, fair and square. Mmmmk?

Well, sweetheart…you SHOW me where *I* started a pissing contest. You say you won’t ‘engage in a bloggy “cat fight”‘ but you’ll sure as fuck START one, huh? YOU yourself made a comment to the effect of “It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s fixed”. Right? Sounded like good logic to me, but apparently you can’t take your OWN advice, huh? Besides, Paul was back there too and it’s entirely possible that HE did something to fix the blog. In the BIG scheme of things, does it matter? Rob’s site was fixed and that WAS the main objective, wasn’t it? It damn well SHOULD have been.

And if I were to start a pissing contest over it, my comment to you would have been somewhere along the lines of, “Uhh no you silly cow, there were no ‘crossed posts’ or ‘fucked up timestamps’. I had been sitting here for twenty minutes looking at a working blog before YOU finally remembered to refresh your page”. But did I do that? Fuck no. You know why? Because you’re a friend of a friend and that was good enough reason for me to keep my thoughts to myself. I’m not into public humiliation, as I’ve stated before.

Hooting and hollering and generally making an ass of myself isn’t in my repertoire. Attacking someone behind their back also isn’t my style. If I’ve got something to say to you, I have NO problem at all saying it to your face. Just ask this woman. I’m pissed off at her…no doubt about it. But I can still hold a civil conversation with her without resorting to behind-the-scenes backstabbing and name-calling. [EDIT: Apparently she is as incapable of this as she is of pulling herself out of her perpetual pity party. There, Livey. NOW you have a reason to be pissy.]

And did you really threaten to kick my ass? Do you even realize how fucking juvenile and moronic that makes you sound?

Don’t some of you women have a fucking life or something else to occupy your time? Christ almighty. Ya’ll find the dumbest shit to fight about. If I spent half as much time as you assholes spend creating drama WHERE THERE ISN’T ANY, I wouldn’t have time for anything else.

Get a grip…or a life. I don’t care which, but leave ME the fuck out of it.

Update: Oh, and the ‘Queen of the Mindless Minions’ thing? It’s a joke, Toni. A very OLD, very silly joke. ANYONE who agrees with Rob on ANYTHING is automatically labeled a ‘mindless minion’ by his detractors. I was labeled the QUEEN a long time ago by a very bitter and delusional woman and it’s always kind of cracked me up. It still does. As I said before, if you don’t think they call YOU a mindless minion behind your back, you’re seriously mistaken.

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I Oughta Get a Sign…

Published June 24, 2006 in Pet Tales. 0 Comments

I’m really beginning to think I should get a sign that says: Chablis’ Home for Wayward Animals.

I had an eviction to do yesterday morning and had to meet the sheriff at 8am to let him know that the people hadn’t left the apartment yet and that I’d need him to come toss them out. He was supposed to meet me here at 3:30, but as it often goes with all things law enforcement, he didn’t get here until almost 6pm. No big deal though really. The evictees had packed up and left during the day, so at least I was somewhat sure there wouldn’t be a fight getting them out.

I knew to expect a mess when I got in there because that’s the type of people these clowns turned out to be. We entered and the sheriff commented that the place was clean compared to when he entered it two weeks ago to serve them the court papers. My maintenance guy, M, was changing the lock while the sheriff and I dealt with the paperwork.

Then out of NOWHERE, something dive-bombed his head. THEN, a whole bunch of things dive-bombed his head.

We both ducked. I started to run for the door while he put his hand on his gun. I was halfway through the kitchen before my brain processed what I saw.

Para-fucking-keets. FOUR parakeets to be exact. All flying around loose.

Not only did the fucking bitch that lived there take all of the contents from her fridge and freezer and dump it on the floor for it to melt and rot in the summer heat…not only did she leave dirty diapers and shit encrusted diaper wipes all over the place…not only did she RIP shelves off the wall leaving large holes instead of unscrewing them…not only did she leave behind SERIOUS damage to an apartment that was remodeled (complete with HARDWOOD FLOORS) less than 6 months ago…but that silly fucking bitch also left 4 parakeets flying around loose to shit EVERYWHERE.

M came in to see what all the commotion was and his chin dropped. He stood there for a minute, looked at me and said, “You take two, I’ll take two?”. All I could do was nod. The irresponsibility of people simply leaves me speechless sometimes.

The sheriff offered to call animal control, which made me giggle a little. If I can handle the mess left behind by human animals, I surely can handle a few parakeets. It just pisses me off when I see how easily people can discard their pets when they become inconvenient.

Anyways, meet the new additions to the menagerie.

Birds

Birds

They will be joining:

Arwen, Cockatiel Princess of Light and Goodness

Arwen

And Hedwig, the Lovebird of DOOM

Hedwig

M’s girlfriend isn’t too keen on birds, so I may end up with the other two that he took, but we’re hoping she’ll come around.

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