I’m really beginning to think I should get a sign that says: Chablis’ Home for Wayward Animals.
I had an eviction to do yesterday morning and had to meet the sheriff at 8am to let him know that the people hadn’t left the apartment yet and that I’d need him to come toss them out. He was supposed to meet me here at 3:30, but as it often goes with all things law enforcement, he didn’t get here until almost 6pm. No big deal though really. The evictees had packed up and left during the day, so at least I was somewhat sure there wouldn’t be a fight getting them out.
I knew to expect a mess when I got in there because that’s the type of people these clowns turned out to be. We entered and the sheriff commented that the place was clean compared to when he entered it two weeks ago to serve them the court papers. My maintenance guy, M, was changing the lock while the sheriff and I dealt with the paperwork.
Then out of NOWHERE, something dive-bombed his head. THEN, a whole bunch of things dive-bombed his head.
We both ducked. I started to run for the door while he put his hand on his gun. I was halfway through the kitchen before my brain processed what I saw.
Para-fucking-keets. FOUR parakeets to be exact. All flying around loose.
Not only did the fucking bitch that lived there take all of the contents from her fridge and freezer and dump it on the floor for it to melt and rot in the summer heat…not only did she leave dirty diapers and shit encrusted diaper wipes all over the place…not only did she RIP shelves off the wall leaving large holes instead of unscrewing them…not only did she leave behind SERIOUS damage to an apartment that was remodeled (complete with HARDWOOD FLOORS) less than 6 months ago…but that silly fucking bitch also left 4 parakeets flying around loose to shit EVERYWHERE.
M came in to see what all the commotion was and his chin dropped. He stood there for a minute, looked at me and said, “You take two, I’ll take two?”. All I could do was nod. The irresponsibility of people simply leaves me speechless sometimes.
The sheriff offered to call animal control, which made me giggle a little. If I can handle the mess left behind by human animals, I surely can handle a few parakeets. It just pisses me off when I see how easily people can discard their pets when they become inconvenient.
Anyways, meet the new additions to the menagerie.
They will be joining:
Arwen, Cockatiel Princess of Light and Goodness
And Hedwig, the Lovebird of DOOM
M’s girlfriend isn’t too keen on birds, so I may end up with the other two that he took, but we’re hoping she’ll come around.
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