One little Monkeyboy jumping on his Mama’s bed,
One fell off and bumped his head…on the nightstand…and spilled soda all over the nice clean bedclothes that were just washed this morning.
Damn it.
No TagsArchive for June, 2006
I think I’ve just discovered my doppleganger. That Newton guy is going to be the death of both of us.
No TagsBeing somewhat of a space geek, I fought long and hard to get into an Astronomy class this term. The class filled up quite fast and I wasn’t quick enough, so I was placed on a waiting list. Two days after the term started, someone else dropped the class and I was admitted.
The course description led me to believe that it was a math-lite class, meaning that only basic mathematical concepts would be covered. Anything up to and including algebra, I can easily handle. I’m not a math dummy, but I’m no genius either.
The course description flat out LIES.
We’re covering physics, people. ASTROPHYSICS. I am SO lost that I can’t even begin to tell you. I’m holding my own with it so far, but it’s tough. I usually won’t accept the thought of pulling anything less than an A- in any class, but I’ve got to lower my standards for this class when I look at problems like this:
va2 = ( 8.871 X 108 / a ) ( 1 - e ) / ( 1 + e )
I’m handling other areas of the class quite well, but the math is going to kill me. I’m wondering if there’s an Astrophysics for Dummies book out yet?
No TagsI live in a very small town. Population: 3000 or so. I manage several rental properties in the area and live in the largest building in town. I love working from home. I really do. I realize how lucky I am to be able to set my own hours, have a steady salary no matter how many hours I work and, most of all, be here for my kids instead of throwing them in daycare after school.
This job, like any other, isn’t without it’s drawbacks. I’m on-call pretty much 24/7. The area I live in is a fairly depressed area, so the pool of ‘good, fiscally responsible’ tenants is small and my eviction rate is fairly high. This is usually no big deal. Most tenants have the good sense to feel guilty and quietly move along when they’re being evicted and I have the good sense not to hound or annoy them. If you can’t pay your rent, or if you still haven’t learned that paying your rent comes before buying beer and cigarettes, FINE. Just move along. REALLY…it’s not a big deal, unless YOU choose to make it a big deal.
Here’s a list of things you generally should NOT do when facing eviction:
- Don’t turn your apartment into a flophouse for your homeless friends.
- Don’t be all shocked and shaken when I knock on your door and throw your homeless friends out on their collective asses. Especially, don’t allow your homeless friends to become mouthy with me. I already know I’m a bitch and have had many years of practice to perfect my methods. Along those same lines, don’t be surprised when your friends are arrested and dragged out of here by the police because they couldn’t shut their damn mouths.
- Don’t call the owners complaining to them about what a bitch I am. They already know…it’s on my resume. And truthfully, *I* am the nice one…the owners have me beat by several orders of magnitude.
- Don’t call the owners demanding that THEY deal with you because I am ‘an unfair and heartless bitch’. THEY hired ME so that they don’t have to deal with YOU. All roads lead back to the ‘unfair heartless bitch’…get used to it.
- When you live in a small town and you file false charges against the company you rent from 3 days after your son was arrested and thrown in jail for assaulting a police officer, be prepared to be laughed out of court by a judge that has presided over almost all of the evictions the company has done. HE KNOWS our reputation and he knows we do things by the letter of the law.
- When you’re in the process of being evicted for not paying your rent, don’t knock on the manager’s door asking for change for a $100 bill. Are you really THAT stupid?
- It’s NEVER a good idea to threaten the building manager’s life. It’s really a BAD idea to attempt to climb the support beams up to my 2nd story porch when you think I’m not home. The manager has a gun and those windows that you were standing in front of? Yeah, those belong to the maintenance guy who has TWO guns.
- Don’t get yourself evicted and then leave all of your belongings behind and expect that I will store them indefinitely. There’s no such thing as a surprise eviction. You’ve had, on average, 40 days to make arrangements for your stuff before the sheriff drags you out. If you know that I have to hold onto the stuff for 28 days, don’t presume to tell me it’s 30. And don’t be surprised when I utter the words, “Tough shit” when you call me after 30 days and find out that your stuff went out with yesterday’s garbage.
- If you’ve been evicted and I find your apartment skanky and smelly, don’t get all offended when I call YOU skanky and smelly. Really. Did you EVER clean? I found commercial sized bottles of cleaning supplies that you obviously stole from work before being fired for embezzlement. Why steal something you had NO intention of ever using?
- If I’ve spent 3 days cleaning your skanky and smelly apartment after you’ve been dragged out by the sheriff, don’t be surprised when you recieve a final demand notice to pay your 4 months of back rent AND $950 in cleaning fees. And yes, I AM the highest paid cleaning lady EVER. $20 an hour to clean YOUR skanky and smelly apartment was a bargain…trust me.
- And finally, don’t be surprised to find that I am having your paycheck attached until your debt to the company is paid off when you have gone out of your way to be a miserable, sue-happy, signature-forging, lying, obnoxious, skanky AND smelly dumbass.
There. I feel better.
No TagsNOTE: If you have no idea what I’m talking about in this post, move along. I have no desire to forward any more rubberneckers to the *ahem* battlefields.
I wasn’t going to dignify any of the ‘anonymous’ emails that I received yesterday with an answer simply because this latest blog drama has gone on long enough and I’m not going to add more fuel to the fire. But one email has, what I feel is, a valid question (and isn’t filled with mindless venom):
[…] all I wanted to know is why do you still defend him? He’s nothing more than a womanizing alcoholic and you seem to be intelligent enough to realize it so why do you continue to go to the mat for him time after time?
First off, I can think of several times where I haven’t ‘gone to the mat’ for Rob. I’ve disagreed with many things he’s done/said over the years that I’ve been around. Despite seemingly popular opinion to the contrary, I’m not a mindless drone. I simply don’t feel the need to get into a pissing contest over a difference of opinion, nor do I feel that the people I choose as friends need to agree with me on everything. I also don’t choose my friends based on their perfection. As I look around my circle of friends, on and offline, there is TWO traits that I see in all of them:
Honor and imperfection.
My best girlfriend is a needy, emotionally weak woman. Everything that happens to this woman is a tragedy of EPIC proportions. Yet, she has had my back through many years of single-motherhood and shitstorms with advice, encouragement and the occasional kick in the ass. I have a trifecta of men, including The Ex, who are my longest and most treasured friends. One has an ego the size of a small country that needs constant stroking, one goes through life taking as little as possible seriously, and The Ex used to stick his pecker in anything with a detectable heartbeat (which is why he’s The Ex). My own warts are too numerous to list, but in the past I’ve been accused of being too insensitive and demanding. We are all gloriously imperfect, yet through the years, we have dropped everything when one of us was in trouble…no questions asked.
I have no need to shape my friends into MY idea of what they should/could be. I accept them as they are and love them FOR the chinks in their armor…not in spite of them. We are all flawed in one way or another. We all have weaknesses. One of the greatest things about friends is that they usually compensate for those weaknesses so that the world doesn’t beat us up too badly. By their very presense, MY friends help me to be more sensitive. They give me hope. They keep me grounded but at the same time, they give me wings. They make me remember to have fun and not take things so seriously. And they show me what honor and loyalty really means.
When one of my circle of friends makes a mistake, do the rest of us announce it to the world under the guise of ‘caring’? When there’s a difference of opinion between us, do the rest mutiny (or call for a mass delinking)? Oh hell NO. When one of us stumbles, the rest close in and form a circle of protection around the weak one…and give them time to regain their strength, to see the light or to make amends.
I’ve read Rob for I don’t know how many years now…5 or so would be my guess. I’ve read everything he’s ever written about how he grew up, the things that he believes in and stands for. The things that I ’see’ in him are the same things I see in my real life friends. Yes, he struggles with alcoholism. Yes, he has shall we say “harsh” views towards women. And yes, god help me, he hates my cat AND my snake. But you know what? Being an alcoholic doesn’t necessarily make someone a monster, I’ve never seen MYSELF in anything he has written about women (think about THAT, ladies), I’m not all that fond of my cat and, well, I’m working on the snake part. He’s someone who will ALWAYS tell you the truth, won’t blow sunshine up your ass just to make you feel better and, while most people have difficulty with the truth, I love that in a person. When I think about Rob, I think about his beautiful stories of his childhood, his love for his family, his pain over the situation with his son and his loyalty towards those he loves. When I think about Rob, I don’t think about the alcoholic-womanizing-cat/reptile-hater.
When I think about Rob, I think to myself, “That guy right there? Yeah, he’s got warts and scars…and he might just be a little cracked in the head. But he’s a good man and the kind of friend anyone would be lucky to have”.
THAT is why I defend him.
No TagsFrom: TheaterOfTheSoul [theaterofthesoul@gmail.com]
To: ‘abuse@cox.net’
CC: ‘chablis@xxxxxx.xxx’
Subject: FW: [Theater of the Soul] Comment: “Oh For The Love of Christ…”This evening, one of your customers left a defaming and abusive comment on my personal weblog. I have forwarded below the contact and IP information for the customer who is violating your Acceptable Use policies, found under your “Prohibited Activities” guidelines:
# Invade another person’s privacy, stalk, harass, or otherwise violate the rights of others.
# Post, transmit, or disseminate content that is threatening, abusive, libelous, slanderous, defamatory, incites hatred, or is otherwise offensive or objectionable.I respectfully request that any further contact from this individual that violates your policies would result in termination of the account in question. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Dxxxx Fxxxxx
theaterofthesoul@gmail.com—–Original Message—–
From: Rachel [mailto:Rachel]
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2006 6:38 PM
To: theaterofthesoul@unitybiz.net
Subject: [Theater of the Soul] Comment: “Oh For the Love of Christ…”New comment on your post #141 “Oh For the Love of Christ…”
Author : Rachel (IP: 68.107.222.147 , wsip-68-107-222-147.ph.ph.cox.net)
E-mail : chablissucksdonkeydick@yahoo.com
URI :
Whois : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=68.107.222.147
Comment:
What Intelligence? All I see is a bithcy know-it-all who thinks she is better than everyone else. You leave comments on others blogs, as if you have some sort of insight into their lives. Your a bitch, your probably a closet lesbian, because I know that NO MAN would want to be with a bitter cunt like you! What a fucking bitch. I bet it really burns you up that you have no way of contacting me! What a fucking loserYou can see all comments on this post here:
http://theaterofthesoul.unitybiz.net/2006/06/01/oh-for-the-love-of-christ/#comments[…]
So Miss Rachel, I have ways of contacting you that YOU can’t even FATHOM. That little IP address up there enables me to follow your every move…your every transaction. Every little bit and byte that you leave around the internet…every document you open or create…every email you send…it could all be mine.
Sweetheart, I REALLY am the LAST person you want to piss off. I fight by the rules. ONCE. This is your only warning.
No TagsCut the shit with the ‘anonymous’ emails. Don’t insult my fucking intelligence.
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