I’ll be taking advantage of this cool spell that we have going on here and taking the heathens camping with friends this weekend I think. I usually prefer to camp during the fall so that I don’t have to deal with the heat and the bugs, but this weekend looks cool and breezy so far.
Once upon a time, all of our camping trips consisted of copious amounts of booze, a guitar and a tent. Now that most of us are married/divorced with children, things are quite different. We have to actually PREPARE. We have to dig out GEAR. We have to pack CLOTHES. We have to remember to leave room in the coolers for FOOD, of all things.
Back in the day, we could look at each other on a Friday afternoon and say, “Let’s go! Someone grab the tent” and bolt out the door. We could hike 2 miles into the woods and live for an entire weekend on the lake on beer and fish and a 5 pound box of hot dogs if someone thought to pick one up. Sunday afternoons would see us emerging from the woods, tired, hungover and smelling of stale beer and woodsmoke…but happy and content, swearing that it was the BEST TRIP EVER.
Nowadays, we emerge completely sober, stiff, cranky, out of patience and swearing to God that if we hear “Mom” or “Dad” or “Uncle/Aunt Whoever” one more fucking time….
Bah. Who am I kidding? I can’t WAIT!
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I’m just gonna toss this out there into the ether because apparently there are quite a few people who are dealing with the same things I am lately.
1. One mistake IS a mistake. The SAME mistake made over and over again is a habit. Break it.
2. Take the time to truly understand what the consequences to your actions were and THEN apologize. Make sure you understand the part you played in the ‘misunderstanding’.
3. “I’m sorry if I hurt you” is NOT an apology. You might as well be saying, “Stop being so over sensitive”. An apology should include the SPECIFIC action that caused the problem, such as “I’m sorry that I called yo’ momma fat” or “I’m sorry that I blogged about your small penis”.
4. Don’t qualify your apologies. When you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, they don’t really give a shit what horrible things happened in your past to make you the way you are or how drunk you were at the time or how you haven’t been laid in a month. All they REALLY want is for you to show that you understand that what you did/said was wrong and that you will endeavor to never make the same mistake twice.
5. If you’re not sincere, don’t bother. No one likes having sunshine blown up their ass when they’ve been hurt or wronged.
6. This is worth repeating: the same mistake made over and over is a habit. Break it.
I learned a looooong time ago that empty apologies are often worse than the original offense. I’ve had the week from hell so far and I’ve made several new and creative mistakes, but it didn’t kill me to look anyone in the eye or send an email or pick up the phone and utter those two little words: “I’m sorry”.
If this ‘insensitive bitch’ can do it, so can everyone else.
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